Windows LiveWindows Live™
 
 
Jason's profilePub AmmoPhotosBlogListsMore Tools Help

Blog
    March 17

    Top 200

    RALPH

    200

    SEXIEST WOMEN

    ON THE PLANET

     

     

     

    200. Britney Spears

    199. Dita Von Tesse

    198. Kelly Hu

    197. Kelis

    196. Deanne Berry

    195. Emily Proctor

    194. Devon Aoki

    193. Ashlee Simpson

    192. Mariah Carey

    191. Natalie Blair

    190. Gabrielle Tuite

    189. Tyra Banks

    188. Sheree Murphy

    187. Tara Reid

    186. Christina Milian

    185. Laura Csortan

    184. Charlize Theron

    183. Sara Bray

    182. Karolìna Kurkova

    181. Melissa Doyle

    180. Natalie Bassingthwaighte

    179. Alyssa Milano

    178. Daniela Pestova

    177. Ada Nicodemou

    176. Louise Glover

    175. Alana Pallister

    174. Pink

    173. Lucy Lui

    172. Molly Sims

    171. Shakira

    170. Eve Da Rue

    169. Jennifer Lopez

    168. Nicky Hilton

    167. Stephanie Mcintosh

    166. Terri Irwin

    165. Toni Pearen

    164. Drew Barrymore

    163. Monique Wright

    162. Sharni Vinson

    161. Kylie Minogue

    160. Mischa Barton

    159. Autumn Reeser

    158. Candace Michelle

    157. Jennifer Garner

    156. Jordan

    155. Bijou Philips

    154. Isla Fisher

    153. Bree Amer

    152. Petra Nemcova

    151. Keeley Hazell

    150. Jakki Degg

    149. Amy Weber

    148. Elsa Pataky

    147. Simone Warne

    146. Autumn Wilmert

    145. Kim Smith

    144. Jade Macrae

    143. Meiko Rye

    142. Camille Anderson

    141. Lindsay Lohan

    140. Nelly Furtado

    139. Olivia Wilde

    138. Jaime Wright

    137. Veronica Zemanova

    136. Natalie Mendoza

    135. Yamila Diaz

    134. Lauryn Eagle

    133. Sandra Sully

    132. The Veronicas

    131. Vanessa Ferlito

    130. Lee Furlong

    129. May Anderson

    128. Masuimi Max

    127. Tina Wallman

    126. Rosario Dawson

    125. Samantha Lee

    124. Cameron Diaz

    123. Coralie Eicholtz

    122. Nicky Whelan

    121. Nikki Ziering

    120. Chanel Ryan

    119. Tila Tequila

    118. Lisa Gleave

    117. Kate Beckinsale

    116. April Scott

    115. Leslie Bibb

    114. Bec Hewitt

    113. Ashley Scott

    112. Hollie Bowerman

    111. Marisa Miller

    110. Gwen Stefani

    109. Alex Elliot

    108. Alessandra Ambrosio

    107. Kate Waterhouse

    106. Jennifer Love Hewitt

     

    105. Megan Gale

    104. Kirsten Dunst

    103. Hilary Duff

    102. Jenna Jameson

    101. Chantelle Delaney

    100. Eva Green

    99. Billie Piper

    98. Pamela Anderson

    97. Denise Richards

    96. Cameron Richardson

    95. Jodi Gordon

    94. Josie Maran

    93. Courtney Morris

    92. Paris Hilton

    91. Abi Titmuss

    90. Michelle Marsh

    89. Penelope Cruz

    88. Tera Patrick

    87. Holly Brisley

    86. Bobbi Sue Luther

    85. Amanda Flynn

    84. Bianca Gascoigne

    83. Kristen Cavallari

    82. Sophie Raadschelders

    81. Keira Knightley

    80. Tricia Helfer

    79. Nadine Valazquez

    78. Kate Bosworth

    77. Simona Fusco

    76. Emilie De Ravin

    75. Carly Hanson

    74. Elisha Cuthbert

    73. Christina Lindley

    72. Gabrielle Richens

    71. Amanda Righetti

    70. Hayden Panettiere

    69. Maria Sharapova

    68. Jackie O

    67. Indiana Evans

    66. Kate Moss

    65. Tammin Sursok

    64. Jennifer Ellison

    63. Monica Hansen

    62. Caterina Morino

    61. Cassie Lane

    60. Pauline Pedryc

    59. Lauren Pope

    58. Stacy Keibler

    57. Salma Hayek

    56. Ali Larter

    55. Sophie Howard

    54. Kelly Carlson

    53. Danielle Lloyd

    52. Cinthia Moura

    51. Jaime Pressley

    50. Erin McNaught

    49. Katherine Heigl

    48. Arielle Kebbel

    47. Diora Baird

    46. Samaire Armstrong

    45. Maggie Grace

    44. Sunny Leone

    43. Anna from Big Brother

    42. Carmen Electra

    41. Sienna Miller

    40. Adele Silva

    39. Suzi Howarth

    38. Vanessa Minnillo

    37. Fergie

    36. Sophie Monk

    35. Jenny McCarthy

    34. Vanessa Marcil

    33. Shana Hiatt

    32. Gemma Atkinson

    31. Christina Aguilera

    30. Melissa George

    29. Eva Mendes

    28. Courtney Bingham

     27. Nicole Scherzinger

    26. Lisa-Shae

    25. Gisele Bundchen

    24. Isabel Lucas

    23. Sarita Stella

    22. Jessica Biel

    21. Evageline Lilly

    20. Beyonce

    19. Rihanna

    18. Victoria Silvstedt

    17. Brooke Burke

    16. Nikki Osborne

    15. Adriana Lima

    14. Rachel Bilson

    13. Angelina Jolie

    12. Krystal Forscutt

    11. Lisa Jenkins

    10. Jessica Simpson

    9. Holly Valance

    8. Eva Longoria

    7. Scarlett Johansson

    6. Kelly Brook

    5. Joanna Krupa

    4. Jennifer Hawkins

    3. Lara Bingle

    2. Emily Scott

    1. Jessica Alba

     

    1:11 PM | Add a comment | Permalink | Blog it | Girls
    March 02

    Huh? ... That's interesting

    • The world's shortest war was in 1969, when Honduras and El Salvador fought for 30 minutes over a soccer game
    • Olympic badminton cocks must have 14 feathers
    • The people most killed in bank robberies are the robbers
    • "Typewriter" is the longest word that can be typed using only one line of a standard computer keyboard
    • The world's smallest army is the Swiss Guard, stationed at the Vatican, in Rome. To join, you must be exactly 174cm tall unmariied, Catholic, Swiss, and of sound moral and ethical character

    Fun at England's expense

    • Windston Churchill was born in a ladies' toilet
    • The average length of the English penis is 5.2 inches
    • In England, in the 1880s, "pants" was considered a dirty word

     

    • The most expensive bikini in the world was worn by Molly Sims - it costs $37.5 million, and was made almost entirely of diamonds
    • The chances of any single person becoming a billionaire are 0.00001 per cent
    • The world's largest yo-yo is two metres wide and weighs in at a finger-straining 400kg
    • The most popular name for a dog in the United States in Max
    • Starfish have no brain
    • Former US president William Taft was so fat he once got stuck in the White House bathtub
    • "Groaking" is the practise of watching people eating food in the hope they'll offer you some
    • A Boeing 747's wingspan is longer than the Wright brothers' first flight
    • A full moon is nine times brighter than a half moon
    • A "syzygy" occurs when all of the planets in our solar system line up
    • Your skin weighs twice as much as your brain
    • Porcupines float
    • Your thumb is always the same length as your nose
    • American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in the first-class section
    • Honey is the only food that doesn't spoil. Honey found in the pyramids can still be eaten

    True or False?

    Three facts. Which one's made up?

    • There are more than 250,000 trees in Central Park, New York
    • The youngest Pope was just 11 years old
    • Guatemalan fruit bats are the only mammals that can fly backwards

    Highlight here _1.T 2.T 3.F _for answer

     

    'Pub Ammo', Zoo Weekly, (Pub Ammo), Jan29th07, pp. 90.

    2:56 PM | Add a comment | Permalink | Blog it | Pub Ammo

    More Zoo Jokes

    An Irish woman was admitted to hospital after having phone sex. Doctors managed to remove two Nokias, three Motorolas and a Samsung. No siemen was found.
    Jeff, Sunshine Coast, Qld
     
    What's the difference between a redhead and a brick? A brick gets laid.
    Adam, Port Adelaide, SA
     
    'Last week's top jokes', Zoo Weekly, (You Funny Bastards!), Jan29th07, pp. 29.
    2:32 PM | Add a comment | Permalink | Blog it | Jokes, Comedy and Humour

    Feeding Time

    QUITTER
    Warney's team-mates are perplexed one morning to see Shane bowling a few overs with women's panties wrapped around his arm. Finally, Ricky Ponting whispersm "Er, mate, we've come to expect some unusual things rom you, but we're worried this time. Do you know you're wearing women's panties around your arm?"
    "Oh yeah," says Shane, "It's a patch. Im trying to quit."
    Huntley, Gympie QLD
     
    HOT TOPIC
    A man jumps off the couch and says to his wife: "Put your coat on, I'm off to the pub." His wife says, "Lovely - are you taking me out for a drink?" "No," he says, "I'm turning the heating off."
    Antsy, Duntroon, ACT
     
    EXPERIMENTAL
    Two blokes are lying in bed next to each other when one turns to the other and says: "You know Bob, I don't think much of this wife-swapping."
    Greg, Mosman, NSW
     
    TRY IT ON
    A traffic cop stops a woman for speeding. He leans in her window and asks to see her diriving license. "Lady, it says here you should be wearing glasses," he says. "I have contacts," the woman replies. "Lady I don't care who you know," the cop says. "You're still getting a ticket."
    Dexter44, Fremantle, WA
     
    'Feeding Time', Zoo Weekly, (Feeding Time), Jan29th07, pp. 26-7.
    2:27 PM | Add a comment | Permalink | Blog it | Jokes, Comedy and Humour

    Arse Teacher!

    High school teacher Stephen Murmer appears, semi-disguised, on a TV show, demonstrating his "butt-print" paintings. He was later sacked when a YouTube clip of his appearance was circulated among students.
     
    'Ass Teacher!', Zoo Weekly, (Weird Week), Jan29th07, pp. 24.
    2:16 PM | Add a comment | Permalink | Blog it | World Wide News

    Arson, Prison Breaks and other

    • MONROE, LOUISIANA: A man burned down his mother's house when she nagged him to get a job or move out. Ricardo Nance Jr, 31, had been listening to music when his mother Christina Ross went next door. While she was away, Nance, who wasn't stoked about the ultimatum, used a fag lighter to set fire to the couch. The house, worth over YS$50,000, was destroyed - so even if Nance ever gets a gig he's stuffed for a bed.

     

    • ZINGST, GERMANY: A man who booby-trapped his garden with a high-voltage cable to kill moles ended up doing himself in. The 63-year-old retired construction foreman was found dead next to a 380V cable and metal spikes rammed into the ground. After digging for clues, police concluded he'd made a mountain of molehill.

     

    • HONG KONG, CHINA: In a near miracle, a sleeping man survived a massive fall when he rolled out of his bed, then out of his 11th-storey flat. The 34-year old dropped nine floors before his fall was broken by the canopy of a second floor restaurant. He was reported to be in a stable condition at hospital, where he was given a room in the basement.

     

    • WESTMORELAND, CANADAA: Two prisoners escaped from Westmoreland Institution, robbed a nearby home, then returned to jail with the loot. After a local woman reported jewellery, cash and grog missing, a police dog traced the culprits back to the lock-up. The thieves were moved to a penitentiary near the remote village of Dorchester, where theythey'll be put in a wicker man and burnt if they ever run away again.

    'World Wide Weird News', Ralph, (News to Us), March07, pp. 22.

    2:00 PM | Add a comment | Permalink | Blog it | World Wide News

    Ariane B

    TIRED of getting rejected by women in the real world? Try to cop a virtual root with Ariane B on the dating simulator game at http://virtualunderworld.net/arianeb. The game is surprisingly addictive and, much like real life, once you finally do all the right things on the date and get to have sex, it's a bit of a non-event.
     
    'This month's web distraction', Ralph, (News to Us), March07, pp. 22.
     
     
    1:46 PM | Add a comment | Permalink | Blog it | Web Distractions